Tag Archives: you wish your life was this exciting

The OTHER Worst Portmanteau

It should go without saying, but for those of you unfortunate enough NOT to live inside my brain, the worst portmanteau is “cronut.” My spell check does not recognise the word and I absolutely will not add it to my dictionary.

The other worst portmanteau is “Japanniversary.” Yes, this is a thing. People talk about their Japanniversaries.  If were such a person, I would have written a celebratory blog post on August 1st. I didn’t.

I will, however, take a bit of a break from my busy schedule (of sitting directly under my air conditioner and looking at pictures of grown-up Neville Longbottom) to tell you about my life in Japan after two years.

I suppose language is the obvious place to start.  The best way to think about my language capabilities is to think of what a two year old child can do with language. I can make two or three word “sentences” with nouns and verbs.  Ask me to use the appropriate article, however, and I will panic.  I can also understand some of what store clerks, etc. say, assuming they speak slowly and use simple language — as though I were a toddler.

Carrying on with the toddler theme, I am starting to have issues with rules.  The simple knowledge that I am not supposed to do something makes me want to do it so badly. After two years of mostly following all of the arbitrary (not really) rules of Japanese society, I am craving a bit of individualism these days.  In other words, I JUST WANT TO WEAR NAIL POLISH!!! Thankfully, I do have the impulse control of an adult.  This might be the main reason why not many toddlers make it past the JET programme’s intense screening process.

I suppose the biggest difference between my life now and two years ago is that I no longer have anxiety about doing normal activities, like paying my internet bill or sorting my trash.  I have that all figured out now.  In fact, I am partially responsible for teaching the newly arrived ALTs how to do things like pay their internet bills and sort their trash.  That’s a bit strange.

On that strange note, I shall conclude.  Life here is good. It is frustrating at times, as I continue to adapt to Japanese culture, but that will always be the case. Overall, life is good.  Now I will let you all go on with your daily lives. I know that you all, like me, have very important responsibilities to tend to.

Wizardry, indeed.


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

A post that has nothing to do with Michael Jackson’s son

Dear Blanket,

Until today, there was a void in my life. I had my new chair. It rocks and is big enough to curl up in and I was happy, at first. But then I realised that a chair isn’t worth curling up in without a blanket.  Thus I began my search for a blanket. I started at Emart but they had almost nothing. In fact, nothing would have been better than what they did have: small, ugly blankets with pumpkins on them.  Sale or no sale, I did not want that blanket mingling with my chair.  I went to Lotte Mart, where they had nothing. I went into some smaller stores, still nothing. Along the way I confused many kind Koreans who pointed to all sorts of bedding but could not direct me to a chair-curling-up blanket. Days passed and I still had no blanket. I spent evenings sitting in my chair, wondering what my future blanket was doing right at that moment.  Probably, I thought, it was sitting on a shelf and wondering when I would find so it could live up to its cuddle potential

And then, when I wasn’t even looking for a blanket, I found you.  I was in Emart to buy bread. You were in Emart because someone had returned you and thousands of other heartless, judgemental shoppers had rejected you.  Well, dear blanket, I decided to take a chance on you, you and your pumpkin pattern.

I’m not sure what it was that made me give you a second chance. Some might call it a great sale, but think of it as destiny.

Blanket, you taught me tolerance. I will no longer dismiss things based solely on their pattern. You have proven to be so much more than a Halloween-themed textile. In fact, you have restored my faith in life’s little surprises because you, dear blanket, are not only a blanket.  Oh, no.  Hidden inside your Korean packaging was a fantastic surprise: a hooded cape.  I didn’t know how much my life was missing a hooded cape until I found you.  So thank you cape, for reminding me that you can’t fall in love if you don’t take a chance.



Together at last


Filed under Uncategorized